The Bare Minimum At Parties

For guests who refuse to acknowledge people outside their ‘friend circle’

We've had a wonderful Christmas. Well, the best we could under the current situation😬. Since it's the holiday season, that means family gatherings, socially distanced parties (whatever that means💁🏽‍♀️), surprise drop-ins to share sweets and gifts, and every other possible celebratory meet-up.

I've had my fair share of attending parties pre-covid, and there was a time that I actually looked forward to them. In recent years, however, I've started to feel perturbed whenever my parents receive an invite, and I'm expected to show up at a gathering where I have to slap on a smile while every guest my age decides to ignore me.

Growing up, my school and my parents would often remind me of a few rules when attending a social gathering. Be polite…be respectful…acknowledge everybody…include everyone, and the list goes on. Throughout my entire childhood, falling back on these set rules helped break the ice and eliminate any awkwardness when meeting someone. And, let's be honest, it feels great knowing that a total stranger takes the effort to make a get-together accommodating.

Unfortunately, not everyone received the memo, and that's caused a lot of people to resent parties for fear of being socially rejected.

Recently, after attending a Christmas dinner with a few friends and family, I realised, maybe it's time for a refresher session for all of those ignorant guests who refuse to put down their ego because of their social standing and neglect anyone who does not share the same ideals as them.

Nobody needs you to babysit someone at a party. But it's common decency to be respectful towards everyone present at the table. So here's a guide to help you be less ignorant while making worthwhile for everyone, including yourself.

• See someone feeling left out? Involve them in your plans!: Now this may seem a bit forceful, but for a moment, put yourself in their shoes and think about how intimidated you'd feel being all alone among a crowd of oblivious adults who are having the time of their lives and a group of kids your age leaving you out of every discussing while laughing their hearts out.

The party is just going to last just a few hours, and this might be the only time you're going to see the person. So what's preventing you from including everyone in 'the group😓'?

• Stop having one-sided conversations: Nothing is more annoying than being ignored in a chat, hearing the people around you go on about things you have no idea about. I've been invited to a fair amount of parties where a group of guys go on about some football game and engage in inside discussions over whatever happened in their school.

It's a social event, not your school break to solely catch up with each other on the trending gossip. Save those for your private meet-ups and get the people left out involved in the conversation over a shared interest. You never know, that person can actually wow you with something that can ultimately open up a new set of conversation topics. For heavens-sake, not everyone is interested in your predictions over the upcoming football game!😣⚽️

• Try not to discuss your professional/ academic achievements: It's brilliant that you've got your hands full with achievements and rising above and beyond in your work life. And it's understandable that you want to gloat a little about it- after all, gloating is good for the skin🤩.

But know when to stop. God knows how many times I've heard people talk about their school grades and prefectorial positions and the top scores they've achieved. It's a festive time or it's time to celebrate someone's milestone, but it's not your day to ramble on about your career prospects or the awards you've received.

It's a whole other thing when someone else acknowledges your hard work or the gathering is in your honour. Until then, don't toot your own horn and fish for compliments. Stop making others insecure at a time when everyone is supposed to enjoy a joint event.

• Stop being clique-y!: It's a comforting feeling knowing that when you attend a social event, there's someone you can latch onto for the night. Now that you have a secure company, what about those who don't? It's not fair, to anyone to see your entire group of friends babbling with each other while they sit idle. It doesn't take much to get someone neglected to join your ring😊. Waving them over too can work miracles. But don't gang up and blatantly keep away from someone who's left out. It's flat-out rude, disrespectful!!!!

This is not a cry for help but rather, a source of educating those obnoxious minds that quite a few still possess😇. You're only going to meet each other once or mayyybe twice in a year so don't ruin the joyful occasions with your dense attitude and learn to accept that there will be people who are different from you and your clique.

Don't get along with them? That's fine. No one expects you to spoon-feed anyone and after you've done your bit and you're not entitled to look after someone. It is your time to enjoy too. But it's a simple courtesy to make everyone around you feel welcome and acknowledged…even if it's for just a few hours.

Merry Christmas🎄 and a Happy New Year♥️